Friday, 9 August 2013

Stop using my gender as an insult

Here is a bunch of phrases and thoughts you need to stop having in your repertoire if you really like women. If you more than like women, tell other people to stop doing it as well.

Don't be such a girl
We've all been there. A guy is talking about his feels, a child starts crying, a previously "cool" woman starts talking about shoes. When you say things like "Don't be such a girl", what you're actually saying is "Something you're doing there is less than manly, and we all know that everyone should be manly because women are rubbish". You probably don't consciously think that, so you probably shouldn't say it.

Women love shopping, shoes, make up and cup cakes
Everybody loves cup cakes. Lets just get that shit straight right now. If you like eating cup cakes, there's nothing gender specific that dictates whether or not you should be able to make cup cakes. It's one of the most astounding things I've found that men have such a huge presence in the celebrity cooking universe, but cooking and baking is still applied in everyday life as female traits. I don't mind cooking, I quite like applying make up, shoes are a necessity, and shopping is either pleasant or a chore, but if you're to believe your average advertisement, it's apparently all that fills my brain. Whilst I do enjoy all/some of these things some of the time/most of the time/hardly ever, I've got other things in my brain and about my person. So to give the impression to the rest of the world that it's all I'm about, it really kinda fucks me off.

Naah, she's not like normal girls. She's like a guy, it's cool
Men do not have the monopoly on cool. When someone says it's because she's such a guy, very often, a girl might be acting a certain way because she doesn't like the way she's treated when she's a girl. And why the hell would she? You get called a slut for displaying sexual freedom; you're judged far more on your appearance; you're extremely critical of the way you look, both in body and dress; and if you're having a bad day or are in a bit of a mood, you're questioned about your menstrual cycle. It's tough enough being a girl, without people telling me how much cooler you think it is when I act like a guy. If I get into a sport, it's because I want to get some physical exercise. If I don't want to wear dresses and skirts, it's because I find them restricting in movement. If I want to drink beer and swear like a sailor on leave, it's because a lot of that shit is really fun. But I don't do it because it's better being like a man, I do it because it makes me happier as a person. And if you wear dresses and skirts, find physical exercise for leisure dull as fuck and love white wine spritzers, do that too. People unite to do precisely what the fuck you please.

and on that note..

Oh women really piss me off, I much prefer hanging out with men. I'm more of a bloke in fact!
I am most definitely guilty of this one. I went from office to office temping during a stage of regular unemployment and I used to say how much I hated working with women. And as it turns out, I just hated working in offices. I've done other jobs and worked with other people, and who I despise isn't really gender specific. If you're lazy and you whine a lot, likelihood is we're not gonna get along. I realised I was doing a real disservice to the women that I have encountered who I've genuinely enjoyed the company of. I got the impression of myself that I was secretly judging women on their ability to banter or relate to stuff I was interested in. I think if someone is kind and offers you their attention without really knowing you, they're probably worth yours as well. And just because you don't get on with women and notice that you do get on with men a bit more, don't rank yourself higher. You're degrading yourself if you degrade your gender.

So that's all I can think of right now. I'll probably encounter a few more, but the moral of this story is that women aren't less. Neither are men. Bullying and a delusion of superiority are.

(ps.. It's 1am. Excuse the typos)